Sunday, January 24, 2016

more imperfections, more horizons, life

I love seeing the cotton before it's harvested. Beauty is all around us, if we're willing to see it.

The thing about the horizon is that one second it inspires wonder in me, and the next I am lost

with that uncomfortable wide-open loneliness

i am always telling them "you're never alone", but i don't always believe that

when i'm alone, i think of so many things to tell you and ask you, then when i get the chance i forget it all

I hope you never lose your sense of wonder.

Saturday, January 9, 2016

Barber Shop

These guys were really nice about letting me come in and take photos. 

Tuesday, December 15, 2015


Can you tell what this is? 

I submitted three of my lumen prints to be included in a juried group show at a local gallery.

I had so much fun preparing these prints! I even enjoyed framing them. 

Among 150 works of art, only 7 (including my 3) were photography related. The others were oils, acrylic, watercolor, fibers, alcohol inks, and drawings.

Next step: submit some pinhole or silver gelatin black and white to an all-photo show.


I love taking risks. 

Friday, December 4, 2015

I think that, if we take action before the g-forces get too strong and start pulling us down, we can avoid circling the drain
Sometimes the struggle against gravity can be intense, and it can take up a lot of my time
but here i am anyway

i know that my circumstances aren't original
but they are to me (first time for everything)
and when i am faced with something new, that demands my attention, it's hard to find a different angle on it...other than my default (not sure what that is)

i am not a martyr
i don't suffer more than anyone else
i want to choose life in every situation

as far as i can tell, life begins to lose it's purpose when i stop serving others
that's not to say that taking care of myself is unimportant (it is most important)
but to be only self-serving isn't a good thing
taking care of oneself and being self-serving are different (obviously)

i don't focus much on what is going on in the world at large anymore
not because i don't care
but i found that it didn't help
it kept me feeling impotent
and i'm not
the world exists in my home, inside of me
and if i don't tend to those worlds, it doesn't matter what i do for the world outside

plus, looking at what's wrong with others is the easiest way to avoid looking at myself

there it is

it's not apathy
it's the courage to deal with myself (even if i don't know what to do next)
i guess this is the in-between place

Wednesday, November 18, 2015

Lumen prints, revisited. A friend suggested that I "bleach" them with potassium ferricyanide, and it worked wonderfully. I have plans for these. I'll let you know when my plans come to fruition.

I have a favor to ask.

If you're reading this, please leave in the comments section your favorite encouraging quote, scripture verse, song, poem, whatever. Something that is HOPEful. Something that inspires courage and reminds you that IT WILL GET BETTER. something that you have called on in times of need.

I'll leave you with a few crappy cell phone pictures of sunsets that I've taken recently.

there's this color in sunsets and sunrises
i don't know what it's called
it's elusive
green gold blue
so calm
the color of purelove
no fear
just knowing courage
i want to be that color

Thursday, November 5, 2015


This day-long drive is my favorite. As I head west, the horizon opens up, and so does my heart. I crave that feeling as I drive through the canyons...that feeling of renewal, oneness, openness, observation. No more judgement or inner criticism. Just being. the old me, current me, and future me all together. a right perspective.

Wednesday, October 28, 2015

What can I say, except that blogging is no longer a catharsis?

I don't know what it is anymore. It's a rare occurrence, for one thing.
Anyway, as usual, there's far more going on underneath the surface than it appears.

It's good, though. Good, deep roots growing, with plenty of rain. :p

1. I'm tired of funerals and illnesses. It doesn't matter how "squared away" I think I am on the subject of death and dying, when it really happens I have a little mini-crisis. It's different now, though. It's all on the inside....which I prefer.

2. The change of seasons still slows me down and makes me a little blue. I guess it always will.

3. I am learning to forgive. I don't need to have justice served to know that I've done no wrong. Instead of feeling hurt, I can see that it's not even about me.

4. I still have these little nihilistic moments, and I hate them. I think they come from not being mindful...when I'm more of an automaton in my own life. Looking at family photos and taking care of myself tends to get me back to right.

So, tell me what's going on with you. What are you reading? How are you feeling? (tell me!)